…And why wouldn’t you? Between the world’s political situation, the patriarchy, and that guy who keeps emailing you about timeshares, there are plenty of reasons to want to get off the grid, off the mailing lists, and to start experimenting with black magic – how about a timeshare on a dark and distant dimension, buddy? But before you put any ancient gods on speed-dial — or your internet on deep Appalachian dial-up — it’s important to figure out a few of the basics.

1. Figure out your goals.

Are you becoming a hermit witch to get away from the world, or to work more on yourself? Perhaps you want to be closer to nature, or need somewhere quiet to work on your magic. In any case, determining your goals, priorities, and expectations ahead of time will allow you to make the most of your time in the deep, dark woods. 

2. Determine the requisite resources.

Sure, there are trust fund hermit witches out there, but the rest of us need to make a living. Think about your finances: can you save up money before the move, and how long will that money last you? Does growing your own food, herbs and all, sound fun to you, or would you prefer Amazonfresh deliveries? Do you need to find a supplementary form of income, and will that require internet? Determine the resources you need, and make your plans accordingly.

3. Plan your lair.

Once you’ve determined your goals and resources, you can begin narrowing down locations and housing styles. Are you more of a classic Black Forest kind of witch, or would you prefer somewhere a bit sunnier, like the Rhone-Alps or a redwood forest? If you aren’t sure yet, you may need to do some additional research on the pros and cons of various housing options. After all, you don’t want to sign up for a candy cottage only to realize that you’ll be roommates with every squirrel in the neighborhood. Are you willing to install an elevator in that obsidian tower, or do you enjoy the physical challenge of parading up and down a few dozen drafty stories with your cape flowing behind you? 

These are just a few things to consider before becoming a sorcerer recluse. For a more comprehensive look at a hermit witch’s life, please see author Bernadine “Deanie” Schmitt’s memoir, Why I Never Came Back from the Black Forest: A Witch’s Guide to Making it Work in the Woods, Dial Up and All, or read about our own experiments with the lifestyle on our blog, A Tiny House with Two Chicken Legs. Like and share!