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L. H. Cole

L. H. Cole

Monthly Archives: December 2014

The Devil’s Watchword

27 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Poems in Progress

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despair, poems, poetry, writing

The devil recalls despair
the unforgivable sin
and chuckles. If there is
violence in his violet eyes,
it is hidden in the smoke
of his shrieking cigar.

His companion laughs, clinking cups
(paying, as usual, if I know the old man)
and if he sees despair in those eyes
eyes that shone so brightly in the world’s making
the keenest eyes, to see so far
–too far, he reminds himself, and much too keenly–
eyes which wanted once only to reflect heaven
but turned
and here, he turns away.
It is then, generally
that the devil lets him buy
the first round.

They wage war
in little mercies,
in exacting calculations
of tip and tax and always
always despair is the devil’s watchword.
Who would ask for forgiveness,
knowing that to withhold it
is to hold poison in one’s mouth and wait
for permission to spit?

The devil always
always buys
the second round.

An Excerpt from “The Grey Cloak”

27 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Uncategorized

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book, littleredridinghood, poems, poetry, songs, thegreycloak, writing

A song I want to include in my (in-progress) children’s book:

Wolf, my wolf, carry me away
The dreams are all gone but the nightmares stay
Wolf, my wolf, don’t you hear me cry
Why must old friends leave with no goodbye
Why oh why must great wolves go,
their shadows long in the thick snow.

This is how…

27 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Uncategorized

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blog, poems, poetry, regret, writing

This is how death
enters the body–
a wound in the soul
that becomes a spring of creeping unforgiveness.
It threatens to overflow
and does.
This is what loss is,
to pour yourself onto burning dreams
and not save them,
to burn off your face in the fire.
Is it still loss if you stand back
to watch?
If you pretend, ashamed,
that the house burning
is not your own?
No, this is not loss
but death. This is how death
enters the body.

CAHSEE

22 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Poetry

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anxiety, poems, poetry, tests, writing

Relentless introspection is to _____ as dripping is to _____.

A) self-discovery, stalactite formations
B) self-hatred, Chinese water torture

Trying to please others is to _____ as boiling water is to ______.

A) selflessness, steaming tea
B) insecurity, steam burns

Worrying is to _____ as mosquitoes are to _____.

A) self-improvement, the ecosystem
B) self-hatred, malaria

Why I Write: Part Two

20 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Blog

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blog, orwell, writing

To add on to today’s earlier blog post, I just discovered George Orwell’s “Why I Write,” an essay he wrote on motivations regarding the craft. Thank you Brain Pickings.

“Orwell begins with some details about his less than idyllic childhood — complete with absentee father, school mockery and bullying, and a profound sense of loneliness — and traces how those experiences steered him towards writing, proposing that such early micro-traumas are essential for any writer’s drive.” We have more than I expected in common, Orwell.

I think many people turn to writing out of loneliness, and I know Isabel Allende said that the writer writes because they start as an outcast. Orwell goes on to describe how the writer holds onto this mood but must move past it without getting stuck in it. Lose it completely and you lose writing, though. He lists four causes for writing–A) sheer egoism (note that Orwell does not consider this an altogether bad trait), B) aesthetic enthusiasm (what I’m learning more about), C) historical impulse (pursuit of truth and desire to share it), and D) political purpose. I completely agree with that last one, and Orwell emphasizes it as well.

“Looking back through the last page or two, I see that I have made it appear as though my motives in writing were wholly public-spirited. I don’t want to leave that as the final impression. All writers are vain, selfish, and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same instinct that makes a baby squall for attention. And yet it is also true that one can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one’s own personality. Good prose is like a windowpane. I cannot say with certainty which of my motives are the strongest, but I know which of them deserve to be followed. And looking back through my work, I see that it is invariably where I lacked a POLITICAL purpose that I wrote lifeless books and was betrayed into purple passages, sentences without meaning, decorative adjectives and humbug generally.”

I think that fantasy and science fiction are inherently political genres, and all writing is, really. The act of writing is to simply say, “I deserve to speak and be heard,” which depending on the speaker can be pretty damn revolutionary. Fairy tales represent archetypes and reflect paradigms–subvert the dominant paradigm by changing the story, and what you create is inherently radical, if in a coded sort of a way. (See: Magical Realism). The best science fiction is full of political warnings and cultural critiques. Heinlein asks us if we should get to vote in a country without being willing to fight for it. Bujold makes us ask what is really important in a society by contrasting Beta Colony with Barrayar. I’ve just started working on my winter break children’s book (I’m optimistic, alright?), and hopefully I can include that aspect of the revolutionary in my writing. First of all, though, I need to work on understanding the story I’m playing with–Little Red Riding Hood, here I come.

Why I Write

20 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Blog

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blog, writing

There are many reasons to write, I think. Some of them I find pretentious–DeLillo’s assertion that we write to shake up the norm seems egotistical. I have nothing against weirdness for the sake of weirdness, but I feel that a work of art should affect a person. It should either help them escape from the world, if only for a moment, or teach them how to better live in it. Ideally, it should do both. DeLillo’s “White Noise” did neither of those things, and I didn’t enjoy it, either. That’s the third one, I think–a good book should transport you, teach you, and entertain you.

I’ve thought a lot in the past few months about why people write. I know I started after my dad’s death. I roleplayed online and imagined being and becoming someone else, and that gave me comfort and a sense of community after the tragedy, which happened to coincide with my first year of middle school. I remember an old English teacher, Ms. Lohse, telling me that people shouldn’t use writing as therapy. She told me she wrote poem after poem about the moon, until one of her friends took her by the shoulders and said “enough already!” Writing is about the story. It is not about you.

Perhaps it is the difference between writing about yourself, and for yourself. No one wants to read therapy transcripts, I don’t think. Well, I might, but not my own. Patrick Jane’s, maybe. Sherlock Holmes’, or Artemis Fowl, or someone interesting and deadly and mysterious. But no one wants to listen to someone whine. At the Boston Book Festival, I remember one of the editors saying that when someone had written a note on their manuscript, something like “this was very helpful for me to write,” or “very therapeutic for me to write,” he took it as a warning sign. He concluded that this was because in cathartic writing, a person does not tend to be in control of their material.

I think there is value in writing for oneself, and if writing gave me nothing at all I simply wouldn’t do it… In the past, putting things into the form of poetry has made them easier to deal with for me, especially when they are read and understood. A good poem is like a punch to the gut, I like to think. But now I want to write something new. If I am going to write, and that is what I have decided, (however prematurely), to do with my life, I want to write in a way that helps people. I want to do what a good book does–transport, teach, and entertain. I want to make people laugh and cry, and to be sent little handwritten notes saying, “This is me. You wrote about me,” when I thought I’d been writing for myself all along.

The Color of the Wooden Sky

19 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Blog, Poems in Progress

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anxiety, fear, poems, poetry, writing

Going on my first date in a few months later today, and I started writing (not that the poem is just about that, of course). I don’t know how much of the poem is salvageable, but I do like a line or two. I may even keep them!

Everything you want is on the
other side of fear.
but what is that?
Acid or aphrodisiac
adrenaline, a heart attack
the color of the wooden sky,
the knowledge that you live
to die.
Is fear what gets you out of bed in the morning,
or what keeps you in?
Fear, fear, fear
a helpful sin
(in small doses.)

Finals

18 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Poetry

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anxiety, college, finals, poems, poetry, studying, worry, writing

Finals comes softly creeping;
stress steals my hours sleeping.
Oozing ink and dripping sweat
I fret and fret and fret and…

The Chain

18 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Poetry

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love, poems, poetry, writing

Four days long
two years deep.
As for the width,
I cannot say,
but it must be
thin,
for these interlinking memories
bend between us
distorting.

Four days long,
two years deep,
unbreakable
quiet in my heart.

Four days long,
two years deep,
whispering smoke-thin
confusion in my heart.

So Much Left

18 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by L. H. Cole in Poetry

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love, poems, poetry, writing

I have reached for you
(so           )
only to close open hearted-hands on

believing in spite of
that where there is smoke,
there must also be

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